Not Letting Go of Soccer

My renewed love of soccer is becoming a tradition with my blogs. Every few months I experience some form of soccer, have a great time, write about how I'm going to become a soccer fan, then never follow through. It began while abroad on my spring break trip to Italy. There my friends and I went to a match between Roma and Lazio, an experience of a lifetime. Upon my return to Ireland I began to seek out matches to watch every time I was near a television, culminating in the Premier League Championship the night before I left for home, another memorable experience.

Once back in the U-S of A my soccer opportunities were limited and I quickly forgot I had ever loved the sport. A chance trip to the fantastic NBC10 10! Show left my friend and I with a bunch of tickets to Philadelphia's only indoor soccer team, the Philadelphia Kixx. It was hokie, it was mildly depressing, there was a hungover penguin...it was epic.

Around that time I learned that Philadelphia was getting a real, er, sorry Kixx....an outdoor team for the next MLS season. I was excited to join the "Sons of Ben" as the fans of this yet to be formed team called themselves. I made plans with myself to go to numerous matches and finally get this soccer obsession that I've had brewing inside of me for so long going.

My soccer fanaticism took a major hit however when I forgot to check out the important things like the schedule and completely missed the start date of the season. Whoops.

Meanwhile my friend Stacey told me that she had gotten an internship with the New York Red Bulls and told me that I should come to a match. My friend Goose, the closest I have to a soccer star friend, eagerly jumped on board and we set out to decide on a game to go to. As I'm terrible with committing we quickly missed the first 2 games and settled on the third, the Red Bulls versus the Philadelphia Union. Perfect.

Goose and I set out for the game on Saturday in her trusty red car. As we got closer to Harrison, NJ (in true New York sports form the Red Bulls actually play in New Jersey) my Cities degree began to kick in. The stadium is new and hopefully will serve as the cornerstone in a waterfront development scheme. I would like to direct the city of Harrison's attention to their sister cities of Camden and Trenton. Good luck with that one, Harrison, I'm sure it will work out great for you!

Harrison's plan does have a few things going for it that Camden and Trenton did not. The Red Bulls are a Major League Soccer team and thus have a wider fan base than the Trenton Thunder or the Camden Riversharks (wtf is a rivershark anyway?). Also, the stadium is all part of a massive bid put out by the US in order to host the World Cup in 2018. Now should this go through then you're damn right they're going to make this waterfront development work...at least until 2018. Otherwise the US better be prepared to introduce the world to the wonders of the Newark metropolitan area.

As Goose and I drove into the city we were met with glorious views of Newark, America's favorite city. We looked at parking directions from the Red Bulls website which instructed us to park anywhere we could. The Red Bulls are trying to promote sustainability (and reduce traffic through the scenic streets of Harrison) by encouraging everyone to take the train to the stadium. They've gone about this by not building any parking lots around the stadium. Instead you park in abandoned lots where local entrepreneurs will eagerly take your cash in exchange for a plot of dirt.

I get it, Red Bulls, if you can't park anywhere then you won't want to drive next time. Have fun explaining that to your world cup guests. You expect to get 25,000 people, almost all who will be staying in New York (Oh, you think they'll be staying in Harrison? hahahahaha...that's funny) to Harrison via the PATH train? It's a nice pipe dream but people are still going to drive. Then they're going to park in these fake parking lots where they will pay AT LEAST $50 for a spot and after they leave their $50 parking spot someone is going to break into their car because remember, it's parked in a lot next to an abandoned warehouse. Although maybe if this plan goes through that abandoned warehouse will have been turned into a million dollar condos by this point.

I digress. I really need to stop going off on side rants in the blogs...

Goose and I parked the car upon arrival to the lot. Literally upon arrival. The guy running the lot took our money as we entered the gate and then said "ehhhh, just stop right there". Oh. Alright then. I began to think about how exiting would be an issue if anyone wanted to leave before us but i decided to let the matter drop. This man was clearly a professional.

We walked out of the parking lot and did one of those "spin in a circle while you try and decide which direction to go" moves. Literally spun in a little circle. Behind us, the lot. To our right, a long stretch of street that ended in Newark. To our left, an overpass with another sketchy little makeshift parking lot. In front, abandoned warehouse with people walking behind it. Alright, let's just head towards people. We walked behind the warehouse to find another yet another makeshift parking lot, however this time we could see a crowd of people ahead of us. It was a walk that felt very much like the Quidditch World Cup, with people selling hats and other stuff while the fans wandered around desperately trying to find the clearest path to the stadium (luckily, very few death eaters). After making a left at the shady fence and walking along the 5 dollar car wash (half price if you get it washed at night) we made it to the crowd of people and walked along the road until suddenly Red Bull Arena (sidenote for that picture: Where on earth did they get that eagle from?) rose up out of a large expanse of what must have been more abandoned warehouses up until very recently.

While the initial sight of the stadium is exciting, it quickly gets aggravating. Right when you see the stadium is right when you meet up with the exiting crowds from the train station. The result in absolute gridlock on the sidewalk while everyone waits to cross the street. Once across the street you're staring at the equivalent of at least one block of abandoned lots to walk by before you reach the stadium. We were more than a bit frustrated by the time we reached the stadium but determined to have a good time.

Once inside the stadium our moods changed. It's really a fantastic building. We took a lap around the concourse and found our friend Stacey working some kind of table before making our way to our seats in the upper deck near the Philadelphia Union fans. Our seats were right behind the goal about four rows up from the edge. Since the upper deck seats jut out almost completely out over the lower deck seats we were actually super close to the action. My favorite part of the stadium is the roof, which covers the stands but leaves an open rectangle in the middle over the field. On a gorgeous sunny day like Saturday the rectangle surrounded the sky like a picture frame. When looking at the sky through such a defined area you can really tell how it changes throughout the day. While I enjoyed the soccer game, I was just as happy watching the sky go from bright blue to grey in a matter of hours.

Our seats were near the Union fans but included a mix of Red Bulls fans as well. I know I had said that I wanted to be a Union fan but I was willing to give the Red Bulls a chance as well. The trials of living directly in between New York and Philadelphia are hard. You are forced to choose a city for loyalty purposes and stick with it. I've gone with Philadelphia for every sport before, mainly out of a hatred of New York sports teams, but soccer provided me with a new plate, a new opportunity to pick a team. I decided to let the teams battle out for my love and would pick a team after the game.

In my other soccer entries I've always talked about how gripping the game was, how it got my adrenaline going. I'm not going to lie, there was none of that. It was a well played game eventually won by the Red Bulls. It surprised me that what I liked about the game wasn't the rush of adrenaline that soccer usually gives me, but how relaxing an afternoon at the park was. Since soccer doesn't have timeouts or any stoppage before halftime or the end of the game everyones attention was on the game for the whole time. People sat down in their seats at the beginning of the game, maybe left at halftime maybe didn't, then stayed until the end of the game. There was no wandering off during the middle of the first half for a few plays, or people who had clearly just come to the game to be seen. People came to see soccer and as anything could happen at any moment people were going to watch the damn game. I liked that. I liked that a lot.

The game ended 2-1 Red Bulls, but I think I'm going to stick with my Philadelphia loyalty. Both teams had fun fans, but the idea of rooting for a New York sports team makes me a little queasy. We stopped by Stacey's table-o-fun or whatever and said goodbye before making our way back to the "parking lot".

After walking by the car wash and turning at the sketchy fence we found that not only had Goose's car NOT been broken into but the parking lot had managed to clear out despite the fact that our car was in the middle of the entrance. Hey, I did say the guy who ran the lot was a professional. We navigated the lot and found that the exit was just an area where the fence surrounding the lot had been removed and after driving over the curb we made it onto the street.

Goose was going to spend the night in Hoboken so she volunteered to drop me off at the Newark train station so I could get back home. While I was thankful for the ride so I wouldn't have to take the PATH with the rest of the fans, I was a little worried about driving into Newark. By the way, Newark, congrats on your first murder free month since 1966! As I tried to figure out where on the mapquest map we were (dammit, Goose, get a GPS!) I ended up directing us the wrong way and into the city center of Harrison...which wasn't nearly as bad as the abandoned warehouses would lead us to believe. It was actually kinda lovely with a woman hanging her laundry out on a line strung between two houses and lots of dog walkers. We couldn't stay, though, we had a date in Newark to get to.

After turning ourselves around we managed to get across the river and into Newark and spotted the train station straight ahead. The problem lay in finding a place to pull over and let me hop out. When a parking lot or pull off failed to materialize we settled for under the railroad bridge while Goose was stopped at a light. Not exactly my favorite place in Newark but it worked. I bid goodbye to Goose, set my sights on the main door of the train station and set forth determined to get there without getting shot or hit by a bus. I succeeded...although I did come disturbingly close to failing at the latter goal.

My first Major League Soccer experience was different than that of European and indoor soccer. It lacked the fireworks and angry guy in a penguin suit antics that those provided, yet it's simplicity proved just as enjoyable. I'm eagerly planning a trip to the new Philadelphia stadium and promise to not give up on my goal of being a soccer fan. I'll just need someone to remind me of this come June.

Struggling to Understand

I'm terrible with languages. Absolutely horrific. My Bryn Mawr academic career began with the head of the French department telling me she had never seen such a confusing placement test. Apparently my results showed that I clearly had learned the language at one point but couldn't grasp how to use it. Welcome to Bryn Mawr, Marianna, you've failed before you've even gone to class. My French career ended a year and a half later with a rather awkward meeting with my professor where she asked me if I had been tested for a learning disability. Awkward laughter and a promise to try harder followed. I swear my passing grade that semester was solely out of the professors embarrassment and desire to end my pain. Despite my best (Lies, best is stretching it) efforts, I cannot learn languages.

I'm great at getting the vocabulary down. I can tell you how to say raspberry in numerous European languages. I taught myself how to curse in Polish by reading the middle school bathroom wall (In the more grandmother appropriate sense OMP also taught me to yell "Co to jest, Kanada!" (What is this, Canada?) at anyone being particularly lazy). I can even break out a few Gaelic words (emphasis on the few) after my semester in Ireland. The problem comes when I have to string them together into coherent sentences. Anyone who has ever talked to me in person or even listened to my award winning podcast will know that my grasp of English sentence structure is shaky at best. I'll use two verbs right next to each other, forget prepositions, it's a mess. Ask me to do it in a foreign language and I'm sunk. Ask me to understand someone else doing it in a foreign language, and it's just a lost cause.

People always tell you not to speak extra slowly and loudly around those who do not understand English because it is demeaning and does not help the situation one bit. I wish people would do that around me! I wish when I was in France people would have yelled at a snails pace at me. Hell I wish when I was in French class people would have talked louder and slower.

Are other languages spoken with a quicker pace than English or do I just hear them that way? We have a cleaning lady, Basia, who is Polish who comes every few weeks or so. The other day she was talking with OMP about whatever it is they talk about in Polish, probably mean things about the rest of the family as we have no way of finding out, when I came in to announce that I was heading to work. It was a Saturday morning and I wasn't intending to see anyone at work so I had on an old pair of pants and an oversize sweatshirt. Basia turned to look at me and immediately launched into auctioneer-speed speech while pointing at me and laughing. I looked to OMP for help and he just responded to her, also in rapid Polish, also with a smile on his face. As I could not pick out any of my choice curse words nor "Co to jest, Kanada!" I assumed they were laughing at my outfit choice and, as I was already angry about having to go to work on a Saturday morning, got a bit huffy with a few "well then"s. After a moment of silence OMP realized that, contrary to his popular belief, I do not speak Polish and told me that Basia had noticed I had lost weight. Oh. Now I feel like a jackass. Luckily my grandmother was successful in teaching me "Thank You" in Polish at one point in my life.

Strangely enough my experiences with being made to feel like a jackass do not make me more empathetic to non-native speakers trying to speak English. We have a houseguest staying with us this week, a colleague of OMPs from Hungary, who speaks near perfect English. That being said, she does not know slang phrases or colloquial expressions, nor should she. Rather than avoid these phrases I seem to drop them into every conversation. It started simple, as she pointed out today that she didn't actually understand "nope" but rightfully assumed it meant "no". Sounds simple, but I give her major props (I've let props drop a couple of times too...) for figuring that one out, I would have just let it slide and assumed I'd never understand. After she brought that up I began to really listen to myself talk, I kept dropping phrases like "Six and a one-half dozen to the other" and "kick in the pants" (fine, I didn't say kick in the pants but I couldn't remember the phrase I used so I looked up common colloquial phrases and this is always a winner). It got worse after I noticed my tendency to use these phrases, then I moved on to referencing obscure American history. I mentioned Benjamin Franklin's home in Philadelphia, Franklin Court, in a manner that would suggest she would be crazy not to know about it. I'd mention local restaurants and streets, reference funny things that happened in our family that she would neither know nor care about, I could not for the life of me figure out what an acceptable conversation topic would be.

I was lucky in this case as her English is almost perfect, so she was able to at least get the idea of my crazy conversation paths. This didn't stop me from internally freaking out over every conversation topic, wondering if I was alienating her the way I feel alienated when others speak different languages.

I had an escape plan, however. In every culture, in every language, whenever the conversation starts to lag....bring up your dog. Even the most topics using the most simple vocabulary and sentence structure ("my dog loves socks" for instance) can last for hours with any dog lover. Just pray the person isn't a cat person.

Teaching My Readers to Go for the W

Those of you who read my Winter Sports Movies blog should know that I believe D2 is the greatest movie ever. Everything about it is pleasing. The characters are lovable, the plot is laughable enough to be enjoyable but smart enough to not be TOO (emphasis on the capital letters) cheesy. It's then all star cast (let this be a warning all you Selena Gomez's and Sprouse twins. Disney stardom does not last forever) with people like "That guy from Newsies" and "those kids from Heavyweights" made it a marquee film for the ages. While it may not be as polished as Citizen Kane, or as technologically advanced as Titanic, I have yet to find a movie as universally loved as D2.

The Mighty Ducks Trilogy in general is like crack to my generation. We just can't get enough. Like every addiction, we took one hit too many by making D3. Even though we made it through that bad trip we're still itching for more. Merely mentioning the Mighty Ducks to anyone aged 20-33ish(? Completely random age chosen for no real reason) will elicit manic discussion on The Flying V, Charlie Conway and Knucklepucks. We're getting close to the age where a member of my generation could become President and all I can say is when that happens Iceland better watch out, as we were all taught that Iceland is a terrible, terrible place with evil people. I'm not joking when I say I had a honest to God realization one day not so long ago that there is absolutely nothing evil about Iceland. I've lived the majority of my life hating Iceland for no reason. Sadly while I have come to this realization, I know there are people my age out there just waiting for their chance to take Iceland down as payback for game one of the two game series in D2.

Disney made a lot of sports movies in the 1990s. The Sandlot, Rookie of the Year, The Big Green, just to name a few (all FANTASTIC movies). While The Sandlot has a pretty big cult following compared to the others, none of their movies compare in fandom to The Mighty Ducks. They named an NHL hockey team AFTER a fictional children's pee-wee team. You can buy shirts from any hipster t-shirt store with the names of the players on the backs of them. I DARE you (I really dare you) to go into any public place and just start chanting "Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!" and I ASSURE you that someone will join in.

These movies are underrated works of art. They are pillars of 1990s cinema. They introduce the children of America to the cold and gritty city of Minneapolis, a city that I had certainly never heard of before I first saw The Mighty Ducks (don't judge, I was 7 and my parents had only focused on the Northeast cities and the cities of Europe when teaching me geography. Remember, I'm an elitist. Ok maybe you should judge). It tackles racial and social issues that wouldn't be touched with a 10 foot pole in today's Disney movies. While poor kids vs. rich kids is a time honored Disney tradition that totally continues to this day, The Mighty Ducks Trilogy brings it to a whole new levels. Inner city kids, some of whom appear to actually live in alley-ways (what the hell is the deal with Fulton Reed, does he have a house? or just a trunk which he shoots pucks into) going against kids from the suburbs who have the resources to pay for rink time and matching clothes (the non-matching clothes might have just been a 90s thing, who knows). In addition, the Ducks had the only two black kids in all of Minneapolis along with one white kid in their starting front line, a line that the Hawks took no shame in calling "the oreo line". WTF this shit would never fly today. Even better the Ducks themselves even stared calling the line "the oreo line" as if nothing was wrong with it. The 90s never seemed so close yet so far away.

Contrary to popular belief I do not support racism, however I feel that you can pinpoint exactly where D3 went wrong by their acknowledgment of their racist/classist past and attempt to teach the youth that this is not ok. This is no more apparent than this conversation between two of the "evil" varsity players.

Player 1: They should stay on their own side of the tracks

Player 2: How many times do I have to tell you. There is no train, therefore there are no tracks. We all live in the same city.

What?!?!?! Classic MD villains would have agreed with player 1 without question. The Ducks live on the, albeit metaphorical, other side of the tracks! While D3 brought the dream of a world without racism a little closer, it closed the book on the defining movie trilogy of a generation.

How the hell did we get here? Probably by writing this blog in two parts having taken a break for dinner in between paragraphs. Somewhere something went wrong and an innocent introduction to a podcast turned into a bad Intro to Sociology paper written by a film studies concentrator. Let's stop this before we can get into the comparisons of Adam "Cakeater" Banks to the French Revolution Era Bourgeoisie (no joke, the comparison has been made....citation needed, but I swear I've seen it before. I can't make this stuff up, I'm not that crazy). On to the podcast!

Paige and I were originally going to do our podcast on documentaries this week. We used to have a weekly documentary society at school and thus have seen a lot of docs and would have a lot to discuss. Paige made the mistake of mentioning The Mighty Ducks to me the other day, sending me into a flurry of excitement thinking up topics to discuss and theories I've always wanted to share with the world. She didn't have a choice in this matter, this weeks theme was going to be Mighty Ducks.

I think this podcast was a lot better than last weeks. It's more upbeat, there's more discussion and less lies. I think we might even have cut down on ums and likes. I still use words incorrectly and rather than say "I mean" I say "can we talk about" when I need to change topics. Also there is a bit of an echo in the middle, it gets annoying. We apologize. Of the two episodes of Wildhaus, however, it is my favorite. If you're still on the fence about whether you want to listen or not let me just add that Paige asked me to note that she apologizes for her remarks about Ted Kennedy. If that doesn't draw you in, then I don't know what will!

Without further ado, Wildhaus episode 2.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=REEWWC7T

Same shindig as before, type in the code to download. We'll find a better way, I promise.

It Can Only Get Better from Here

My friend P-Saf and I love all forms of social media. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, we've tried them all. I was therefore not surprised when she approached me the other day (approached in a virtual way, remember, she's the in the furthest regions of Canada right now) with the idea of making a podcast. I agreed because quite frankly, I have free time. My days nowadays consist of going to "work" (which is becomming more work like everyday....odd) then lounging out on my new patio thinking of what dresses I'd like to buy. I think I could find some time in there to make a "podcast" with Paige. I assumed it would be much like the "e-mails" i made with the 5 year old that I babysit, less e-mail, more open Micorsoft Word document.

We decided to record our podcast on Monday night and were met with mixed results. I was distracted by my new favorite team Butler and their heart wrenching quest for the national title (did I spend the half hour after the game in silence staring at the wall with a few tears running down my face? yes. I swear I could get emotionally attached to a beer league softball team from Des Moines. I'm that easily attracted to sports stories.) We also found ourselves unprepared, inarticulate and generally a mess. After listening to our podcast again we decided that we would have to take a mulligan (hey-o, Masters themed word) and try again.

We tried it again last night and are fairly satisfied with our work. There are a TON of umms, ahhhs, I means and likes. Live with it. Sometimes our sentences are made out of nouns and only nouns. Sometimes we forget to use a noun at all. At times we lie through the skin of our teeth and cite statements as facts that are anything but. Basically, it's Marianna and Paige at our best.

We hope to make this a weekly feature. Todays podcast theme is Women's Colleges, something we are both familiar with. We make a ton of sweeping statements and by no means represent the views of Bryn Mawr (our personal women's college) or women's colleges in general. I should note that at one point we discuss the very Bryn Mawr-esque process of room draw, and I get it completely wrong. Don't stop listening, I correct myself.

Right now the only way we know how to post it is to give you a link to download it. I'm going to work on finding a better way as this seems cumbersome. I should also note that it's less of a podcast and more of a mp3 file of two people talking. Either way, it's iPod friendly, so take it to the gym, put it on in your car or listen to it while you work.

Future topics include, but are not limited to: Conjoined twins, documentaries, Law and Order: SVU and far happier topics (we're not as messed up as this list would suggest, just quirky)

So enjoy Wildhaus (named after something Werner Herzog did, Paige will have more information on that. I didn't question her, it sounded cool). Please comment with thoughts on the podcast or suggestions for future podcasts.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RAW11064

(note: you will have to enter the code in the top right hand corner in order to hear. Based on the experiences of our foreign friends whose countries have blocked access to my blog and thus were sent the link, you also might need to refresh the page in order to see the link)

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Two part entry! What is this, Christmas? Actually since it's been so long since I've posted a real entry it's more like a holiday when your parents forget your birthday and Christmas and are forced to make it up months later in an awkward celebration that really probably wasn't worth it. Does this happen? If it did it would be like this blog entry.

I mentioned earlier that I spend most of my days on my new patio. The week before Christmas my mom hired a landscaping company to come install a patio in our backyard, because nothing says Christmas like a new patio that won't be used for months. True to form, hours after the workers finished we had the first of our 4 Snowpocalypses. OMP had no idea what the patio looked like until he cleared some snow out there to set up a firepit for my mom on Christmas. We're really into seasonally-inappropriate Christmas gifts apparently.

While the idea of a patio was nice, the lack of furniture and cold weather made it nothing more than a place of my spoiled prince of a dog to lie so he could be outside and not get his feet wet at the same time.

Then spring came. Then the 60 degree weather came. Then 70 degrees. Then 80 degrees. Then 90 degrees. So we put a few folding chairs out here to sit on until we get some more permanent furniture. 4 days into our heat wave all I can say is....where has this patio been for the past 23 years?!?!?

I am currently blogging to you from my chair with a wooden folding table, a glass of red wine and People magazine in front of me. Bliss. A slight breeze wafts through the trees as the sun begins to fade beyond the horizon. If I were a poet I'm sure I would be struck by the moment and create a masterpiece. I am not, however, so I can only awkwardly describe how much I love this patio. Were I not afraid of the squirrils, bunnies and possible fox that I swear I saw the other day down the street I'd want to move my bed out here and sleep under the stars. A morning dove just flew onto the patio, how glorious is that? While I'll admit that a morning dove is just a pigeon trying to get himself off crack and make a name for himself....his tan feathers complement the stone quite nicely. Patios are Gods way of telling suburbanites "Sorry about the lack of anything awesome, this should hold you over until you get the time to go to the beach".

During orientation to college we all had to watch a movie about different families from different backgrounds enjoying Christmas dinner in Los Angeles and how they were all different yet intertwined. I forget the name of the movie, but it was good and I recommend it. What I remember the most, however, was that one of the families ate Christmas dinner on their patio. With all of the racial and social class angles of the film, the thing that struck me the most was the family eating Christmas dinner on their patio. I think this says A LOT about me as a person. Seeing as how I've only known Christmas as a holiday during a cold and dark month, the idea of eating dinner on a patio was surprsingly foreign to me. The dinner looked so delcious, not just because of the food but because of the setting. The stone floor, the vines on the house, the weathered wooden table. Even the food looked fresher than the damn stuff the family eating at the traditional dining room table had. It looked perfect. I realized then and there that I was going to meet people at Bryn Mawr who had patios like that, and I would have to come to terms with the fact that I myself did not have one. I fought through that prejudice...and I think I'm a stronger woman today because of it.

I can now count myself amongst the lucky few who own a patio. Looking into my neighbors backyards right now like the stalker that I am I can see that by few I meant majority. Of the five connection yards to our....four have patios. Suck it, people behind us (who might actually have a patio but I can't tell because there is a 8 foot tall fence in between us). Once I get the strength to get the hammock out of storage I'll be in business. Now all I need are some friends that I could invite over.

New Feature: Blogs That Really Belong On Twitter If Only I Had More Characters

On my way home from work today I passed a ton of signs telling me that "Wall to Wall Pool Tables" is going out of business and that I can save up to 70% on pool tables at their blow out sale. Upon seeing those signs I immediately said "Where the hell is...." before realizing that I knew exactly where Wall to Wall Pool Tables was located. The fact that I knew it's exact location bummed me out. I'm still bummed.

A Titanic Sized Entry

I am not ashamed to admit that I love Titanic. Love it to pieces. And you know you love it as well! I know you remember the Titanic mania when it came out. Maybe it was just the first "big" movie that I remember coming out but I really think few movies have had that type of hysteria surrounding it ever since. It's all my friends and I would talk about in 5th grade, sharing magazine articles about the movie and talking about how cute Leo was. Those who thought they were cool (ie: me) said they didn't find Leo hot at all, but that was a damn lie. In class they would trick us into learning how to research by "letting us" research the Titanic. The T encyclopedia was always the hardest to find during library time. It's hokey, it's shockingly outdated already, but it is 3 hours of fantastic movie.

It is also one of few movies of significant length that I can sit down and watch the whole of without getting antsy. You may have noted that there haven't been many blogs for the past few days save for my random show of support for the Butler Bulldogs. There is nothing interesting in my life and therefore I haven't been inspired. Sometimes when I go through these blogging slumps the only thing I can think to do is liveblog movies. Guess what you're getting tonight!

I've tried to break it down into half hour segments in order to make it easier to read. So sit back and enjoy all 3 hours and 42 minutes (it was the tv version, ergo even longer than the movie version) of my commentary on Titanic.

8:00-As much as I love Titanic...I really hate the 1997 era story.

8:11-The picture of Rose wearing the necklace looks like it was drawn by a high school student with a messed up imagination.

8:14-Commercials. One day I'll have a Tivo and won't have to put up with these shennanigans. One day I might actually buy Titanic on DVD as well.

8:17-I forget, is there a romance between the niece and the captain of the modern ship? If not, that would have been a fantastically crappy subplot.

8:19-Are the people on the ship scientists or treasure hunters? Is treasure hunter a socially acceptable profession? Would I have to live on a boat? I hate boats.

8:20-And our first instance of "wow, who knew how quickly these graphics would become outdated" with the simulation of the ship sinking. Wow, who knew how quickly these graphics would become outdated.

8:22-Flashes of the good old days start to bring Rose to tears. The captain decides this will be the best time to talk to her. (Side note, the woman that plays old Rose is still alive...she's freaking 99 years old. Hardcore)

8:23-FINALLY! The good old days

8:25-Rose's hat is the underappreciated costume choice of the last 50 years.

8:27-Jack Dawson, so dreamy.

8:28-"Have you been through inspection" "Yes" "good, come aboard" ah, that seems even more ridiculous now than it did at the time the movie came out.

8:29-The ship leaving the dock, second instance of "wow, who knew how quickly these graphics would become outdated"

8:33-I would love nothing more than to be ridiculously rich in 1912

8:34-My least favorite movie technique: referencing a now famous person before they were famous and then adding "ha, he'll never amount to a thing". See: Pablo Piccaso roughly 30 minutes into Titanic.

8:37-The dolphins in the water are our third and most blatant example of "Wow, who knew how quickly these graphics would become outdated"

8:38-I'M THE KING OF THE WORRRRRRRLLLLDDDD.....Forgive me for being crude, but I never noticed that he follows that line up by immediately pinning Fabrizio to the railing with his crotch.

8:39-"I may have to start minding what she reads from now on"-Cal. Perhaps my favorite character in the whole film for his blatent racism and chauvenism.

8:41-"This ship is solid as a rock, built by the Irish!"-what's that supposed to mean? We all know the ship is going to sink! Half of me is outraged. The other half thinks that's hilarious.

8:42-I'm going to start wearing an evening gown to dinner every night and demanding that my family do the same. I'm sure OMP has a tuxedo somewhere.

8:43-I lied. Jack staring at the stars and the (spoiler alert) suicide attempt scene is the most blatant example of "Wow, who knew how quickly these graphics would become outdated" Also our fourth example for those keeping track at home. Also there is no way she hangs off that boat and doesn't fall. My stomach is churning just thinking about it.

8:45- "You ever been to Wisconsin?" I have. For 5 hours. Left $260 poorer after a corrupt traffic ticket. Fucking Wisconsin.

8:46-"With all do respect, Miss, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship"-Truer words were never spoken.

8:47-She's got at least 10 pounds on him, there is no way he holds on to her when she goes over the edge.

8:52-"Might I say, women and machinery do not mix!" "HAR HAR HAR" "Let's go have a brandy". Fantastic exchange.

8:54-The Heart of the Ocean or whatever the hell it's called is the ugliest necklace ever.

8:58-All Jack draws are boobs. Rose's boobs. A woman breast feeding her child. Boobs everywhere.

8:59-"That's the good thing about Paris, lots of girls willing to take their clothes off" That explains it...I guess.

9:04-I'm also going to start announcing dinner in this house by playing a trumpet.

9:05-Jack Dawson in a tuxedo. 11 year old me's dream man....23 year old me's dream man.

9:06-I've never been able to decide whether I love or hate Rose's dinner dress. I think I love it? But I can't be sure of that.

9:08-"she's in delicate condition" I need a friend to get pregnant so I can use that phrase more often.

9:10-"Tell us of the accommodations in steerage"-BURN

9:13-"So you wanna go to a real party?" Favorite movie line ever. This is not an exaggeration. Unbelievable! They cut it off right there for a commercial. That's bullshit. That's the best part of the movie when they then cut straight to the party in third class. Sidenote, is the Party in Third Class irish jig song the top played song in my iTunes? Damn right it is. Nothing got me in paper writing mode during college more than that song.

9:17-While it's not The Heart of the Ocean, there's no way that necklace of Rose's makes it out of third class.

9:18-Note to self, learn to play the spoons

9:19-The dance that they do on the stage does not match the music at all. This has always bothered me.

9:20-For the record, Rose, they're not impressed that you can stand on your toes. They're just awkwardly embarrassed for you.

9:23-Rose's mother trying to sufficate her with the brassiere is another underappreciated moment in the movie.

9:24-Rose's mother reminds her that the money is gone, however where did the money ever come from? Was this ever noted?

9:26-They just stopped Jack from going to church. Jesus would not be pleased.

9:27-"I've just had the last boiler lit"-OH SNAP IT'S ON! (literally?)

9:31-"It seems there are not enough lifeboats for everyone" "Hahaha, actually about half!" hahahah indeed.

9:34-Sunsets are an obvious example of "Wow, who knew how quickly the graphics would become outdated" Our fifth example to be exact.

9:35-Money shot, kissing on the bow of the boat with the fake sunset in the background.

9:38- "Monet!" "Do you know his work?" You've been warned about this already in the blog, Cameron, let's have this be the last instance.

9:48-Captain Edward Smith is probably the character I care about the most in this film. He just loved his ship so much and everyone else screwed up.

9:49-Who exactly is the guy that keeps trying to come between Jack and Rose? He's Cal's wing man, but what is his actual role. Is this ever specified?

9:52-"Did you ever find the binoculars for the look-out?" "Nope" HA Never noticed this exchange before, but I find it hilarious. "Did you ever find the hoses for the firemen?" "Nope!" would basically be the same exchange.

9:55-ICEBERG! RIGHT AHEAD! Fun story. I was watching this movie last year with my friend Nicky and right when they yelled "Iceberg! Right ahead!" she cried out (in all seriousness) "Uh oh, this doesn't look like it will end well". One of my Top 10 Nicky moments definitely, maybe even top 5.

9:57-Annnnnnd we have contact. Balls.

10:01-I want to play soccer with a piece of an iceberg.

10:02-How do I get my hair to do that funky early-twentieth century piled on top and pinned look? It's too short now, but a few months ago (working on a year actually, yikes) I could have rocked that look.

10:03-"Come on son, there's a good lad! Come on son, there's a good lad!" That guy was so excited about getting a line that he threw an extra in for fun. I'm sure Cameron wasn't too pleased about that one!

10:07-"This ship can't sink" "She's made of iron! I assure you, she can!" Oh Victor Garbor, you make any movie Oscar worthy.

10:08-"May I suggest top coats and hat?" You act like they weren't going to wear those anyway, Man Servant.

10:10-Alexanders Ragtime Band needs to make a comeback. Some rapper can sample it, right?

10:12-I never noticed what a terrible dye job Kate Winslet has on her hair. Is it because I'm watching this in HD?

10:15-Oooo, fireworks.

10:16-"will the lifeboats be seated according to class?" "Half the people on this ship are going to die!" "Not the better half, ha!" MAN I wish I was rich. I would so be dead if I was on the Titanic. Not nearly classy enough. I do make enough jokes about social class, however...so maybe...

10:23-I just realized there is still an hour and a half left...and only 45 minutes remaining of battery on my computer. Conundrum.

10:24- How did Rose not get electrocuted by swimming through the flooded hallway with the flickering lights?

10:26-There is no way Rose hits the handcuffs at exactly the right spot with the axe.

10:31-I'm going to make a loaded statement. If I ran the Titanic none of these shenanigans would have happened on my watch. I'll stand by that statement. Try and prove me wrong.

10:33-"There's nyet this-a way" Why did Fabrizio just speak Russian?

10:34-I should note that I ran up to get my computer charger during the last commercial break. You win this round, Cameron.

10:35-"Things are starting to fall apart"-Understatement of the year there, Cal

10:36-The Monopoly man was on the Titanic?

10:42-Rose, why the hell do you still believe that Cal has Jack's interests in mind?

10:44-Oh god, are we about to enter the "boat is sinking" montage? I'll admit I always cry during this one what with the old couple and the kids...

10:45-Nevermind, too early for the montage.

10:46-"You're so stupid Rose!" *make-out* "So stupid!"

10:46-Slo-mo running with a gun! This movie has everything.

10:47-The kid standing in the freezing cold water screaming looks legitimately terrified. I don't think he understood that this was all pretend. Children in horror movies/horror scenes are always awkward. There is no way they understand that this is a movie.

10:48-They HAD to make Kate Winslet wear a white dress in the scene where she would be soaking wet, didn't they. There were no other color options

10:50-No way Jack is able to open his eyes in freezing cold salt water and find the keys to the lock AND unlock the door.

10:53-The lifeboat people are idiots. "Ah yes, the man in the tuxedo clearly is the father of the little girl in rags. He must board the lifeboat with her".

10:58-I think the ethnically ambiguous accents are one of my favorite parts of this movie.

10:59-Anyone ever notice the guy who throws a chair overboard for no reason at the begining of the sad montage scene?

11:00-Speaking of which, here come the tears...

11:02-Alright, we made it through that one without any tears. Good to see I've lost the ability to feel.

11:03-I would not have been able to be an actor during the sinking scene. There is no way I would have made it through without cracking up hysterically. I swear they hired the most notorious over-actors that Hollywood had to offer and just said "Go at it!"

11:04-Oh right! Fabrizio is (spoiler alert) killed by the falling steam stack. I was trying to remember how he met his end.

11:05 I remember seeing another movie back in 1997 that was in the theater next to Titanic. During the sinking scene the volume in the Titanic theater was up so loud that we couldn't hear our own movie. I always forget how loud this movie is.

11:08-Propellor man! Is there any other character who has done so much with so little?

11:09-Oh right, it goes without saying that the sinking scene is our final instance of "Wow, who knew the graphics would become so outdated so quickly", right?

11:12-Jack explains that the ship is going to suck them down when it sinks. I never understood where he got all of his knowledge on how to supposedly survive a ship wreck.

11:13-They would have definitely drowned in all of the time they spent getting sucked under with the ship. There's not way they fight that force.

11:20-"I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this" Statements like this makes me think Jack Dawson and I would have gotten along well.

11:23-I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go.

11:24-Funny story about that key line. Back in high school I was spending the night in my friends' dorm room. Sarah and I were trying to sleep as it was roughly 1 in the morning and we're lame, but Grace, who was on the top bunk, wanted to talk to a boy named Jack that she was trying to woo on her cell phone. After about an hour of cutesy flirting talk that high schoolers are so good at Sarah, who doesn't take shit from anyone, decided she had had enough and grabbed at the phone. Grace started shrieking "JACK! JACK!" and grabbing for the phone. In one final push she shouted "I'LL NEVER LET GO JACK!" and knocked the wooden bunk bed railing off of her bed and straight onto my head. I hate the line "I'LL NEVER LET GO JACK!" so, so much.

11:26-You know what line I do love? "Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?" It's hard not to love when he yells it roughly 37 times.

11:28-"I'll never let go, I promise" she says as she drops him into the ocean.

11:29-Only 6 people were saved from the water? Wow. That's a shocking fact.

11:30-In all seriousness I can't begin to imagine the psychological toll of surviving and event like this.

11:37-No way the old woman has the strength to pull herself up on the railing.

11:38-That necklace is so ugly.

11:38- This seems like a good time to quote the Brittney Spears classic "Oops I Did It Again" "But I thought the old lady tossed it into the ocean at the end of the movie?" "Well babe, I went back and got it" *dramatic pause* "OOOPS I! DID IT AGAIN TO YOUR HEARRRRRT....."

11:39-I can never watch the ending of Titanic ever since my aforementioned friend Sarah declared right before we entered our high school graduation that it was just like the ending of Titanic. I cracked up then and I crack up now.

11:42-And with that, 3 hours and 42 minutes later, we are done. I can't believe I did this. I'm exhausted.

Just a note, They're making a 3D version of Titanic in 2012. I see roughly 2 movies a year, so 2012 better not be a good year for movies as I already have one of those two spots filled.

11:45-Crap, it's starting again, I better go to bed before I get sucked in.

Butler Bulldogs

I was recently recruited to the Butler Dawg Pound by an alum. After their awesome win a few minutes ago I would like to use this space to display the poster that she asked her recruits to spread around. GO DAWGS!

I'll have some remarks on Cornell and Ivy Basketball up sometime within the next few days. It's all still sinking in.