Like I Could Stay Away!

This January was the 2 year anniversary of the start of my first blog (lies, I first started blogging in high school with damn livejournal, but that's a dark mark in my past). That blog, of course, was the epic mariannasadventures.blogspot.com, which followed my travels in Ireland. To this day it is probably my favorite thing on the internet. Sometimes I read it and can't even believe I wrote it. It was a different time, different place and a different me. I like the person who wrote that blog. That person is funny, willing to take risks, and sees everyday as a new opportunity.

My next blog, mariannasfailures.blogspot.com was fun, but a little too bitter for me. I was never really proud of the person that I was in college. Something about college made me cynical and dark. The title alone shows how I viewed myself during my four years of college. I constantly knocked myself down and found humor in the fact that I was never good enough for my standards. That blog, while admittedly enjoyable, reminds me of this every time I read it.

My last blog, travelswithauggie.blogspot.com (btw you should all be hitting these blogs up, hence why I'm linking to them) was supposed to be my breakaway hit. It tracked my trip around the country, my defining moment, I was supposed to eventually turn it into the great American memoir (which would eventually lead to a movie deal and an almost guaranteed drug addiction once the fame wore off). Instead I stopped writing after Arizona. I started freaking out that people I met might read the blog and not like what I wrote about their states and their homes, even though I had nothing but good things to say. I worried that people might take my voice the wrong way, misunderstand my ridiculous attempts at humor. By the time I got home it seemed like too big of a liability. In all fairness I need to finish that blog up solely for the state of my memories, however I no longer view it as my big break.

I've been home for more than three months now. This is the longest span of time I've spent at home since high school. Based off of the response I've gotten from job applications that I've sent out, I'm going to be here for quite sometime. Quite frankly, I'm having the time of my life. I watch Law and Order: SVU marathons on Tuesday. At 5 o clock every night my mother pours me a glass of wine, turns on some soft background music, lights some candles and we settle ourselves down with a book until my father comes home. I get a homecooked meal every night. My college roommate lives right down the road and has access to a private bar that serves beer for a buck twenty five. She is more than willing to let me sleep on her floor when I take advantage of said bar. If I had to describe the life I wanted to live....this would be it.

The fact of the matter remains, however, that nine months out of graduation, I still don't have a job. I haven't even had an interview for a job. I send out at least three applications a day, sometimes up to ten, and have received maybe 5 responses telling me that the company is not interested. Most of the time the application just enters cyberspace and floats around in the endless abyss. When I graduated it was quoted to me that 80% of the class of 2009 in America graduated without jobs. I took comfort in this number. I quoted it endlessly. It was the perfect justification. I don't have a job because no one has a job. Nine months later....I can't imagine the number is that high anymore.

I've managed to busy myself. My summer job has taken me on as somewhat of a charity case. In exchange for occasional work they pay me enough money to support my weekends at the buck twenty-five bar. I am eternally grateful but crave something that promises a bit more stability.

After finding myself bored on the sofa one day, talking to my dogs and convinced they were talking back to me, I immediately jumped in the car and joined Weight Watchers. Not specifically for the health aspects, although those are a massive plus, but more for the socialization. For an hour a week I gather with Lawrenceville's soccer moms and retirees to discuss portion sizes and walking routes. I love it, they are truly hilarious people (whether they mean to be or not...). Although the laughter always stops when someone steps over the line and brings up something like their recent colonoscopy (it happens far more often than I'm comfortable with...). As a result I'm healthier and have far more energy than I ever did in college.

Overall...I'm great! I'm healthy, I'm happy and things are exactly where I want them to be! Which is why I've started this blog. For those of us left in that once 80%, those who assumed for the past 22 years that a job would be waiting for you once you got that degree and have found that that's just not the case. I want to document that (clearly) life doesn't end at 23. I want to document that person who doesn't live the 9-5 life (but also isn't a dirty hipster. For the record, I'm not trying to "beat the system" I am a huge fan of "the system"). I'm a late bloomer. I was late to the starting gate for the rat race....but I'll catch the next heat. In the meantime I'm going to wander around and cheer on the other participants knowing that no matter how many tries it takes, I have plenty of years to win gold (there will be plenty of Olympics metaphors over the next few weeks, btw).