Oh Canada: An Interview With an America Expat in Vacouver

My friend PaigeS (there are two Paiges that will be referred to often in this blog, PaigeS and Pwalker, just a heads up) moved to Vancouver shortly after graduation to begin a career doing...something psychology related. One of my biggest regrets of the past year is that I didn't get plane tickets to go and visit her during the Winter Olympics...I figured I would have a "real job" by now and there wouldn't be time. Whoops.

PaigeS began the Olympics with an e-mail to us announcing that she would be supporting Canada, rather than the US, during the Olympics. I was outraged. As such, I rooted harder than I ever have rooted for anything hockey related when the US played Canada the other night. I wanted her to feel pain. Which she did.

Last night she came online after spending the evening at the bar watching the Canadians beat Germany. She was in....well she was in the exact state of mind you would expect a Canadian to be after watching a solid victory at a bar. I decided this was the perfect time to get an interview with her about her throughts on Canada and the Winter Olympics.

Me: Thank you for agreeing to do this for the blog

PaigeS: I love watching Jeopardy drunk

Me: This is for the blog

PaigeS: yea, yea, yea, ask away

Me: What would have happened tonght if Canada had lost and been eliminated

PaigeS: Holy shit....riots....stabbings

Me: Why do I feel like you would get caught up in the action and start stabbing people

PaigeS: It would be hard to prosecute

Me: What are the 5 best things about Canada/Vancouver?

PaigeS: Ummmmm...the views, teh city, the public transit...the fact that i get paid to live here and the underdog mentality

Me: 5 best things about the Olympics?

PaigeS: The excitement, the freestuff, the drunken crazies, ice skating, ridiculing tourists

Me: 5 worst things about the Olympics?

PaigeS: crowds, drunken riots, it's expensive, I don't care about most of the sports, the traffic

Me: What would you say to convince Paul Rudd to come to Canada

PaigeS: I'm here and so is the Twilight cast

Me: Have you seen any famous people?

PaigeS: I saw jessica biel

Me: Have you slept with any athletes?

PaigeS: I may or may not have participated in a threesome with the figure skating siblings

Me: Which ones, there were four pairs

PaigeS: That were siblings? Wow. All of them...all four...all.

Me: Who's hotter, Canadians or Americans?

PaigeS: Canadians, but americans dress better

Me: America and Canada play each other in the ice hockey gold medal game and the outcome of the game leads to an actual war...who wins?

PaigeS: America let's be real, even I can't pretend America doesn't kick ass at everything.

Me: Are B4-4 still national heroes?

PaigeS: Of course, they are like our Beatles.

Me: Why is the queen on your money

PaigeS: because we never stood up for ourselves against England. We just took it for years until even they didn't want us anymore.

Me: Pop Canadian History Quiz, no Google allowed. What is the origin of the name Canada

Paige: it means great land of the sea (nope, it means village or settlement)

Me: What rodent is described by the Canadian Encyclopedia as having "had a greater impact on the history and exploration of Canada than any other animal or plant species"?

PaigeS: The mallard, with it's manly and adventurous nature (The beaver)

Me: Who was the only Canadian to ever serve as Prime Minister of Great Britain?

PaigeS: Queen Elizabeth II (Bonar Law)

Me: What was the name of the system of safe passages and safehouses that allowed American slaves to escape to freedom in Canada?

PaigeS: The Underground Railroad, Part deux: The Great White North (Thats...correct...in a way)

Me: What is so special about the Thousand Island Railway

PaigeS: They also market a tasty salad dressing (It is the shortest railway in the world)

Me: How many times has the US invaded Canada

PaigeS: Everyday I have been in the country, so 108 days....108 times (Twice)

Me: Do you keep track of how long you have been in the country with hash marks next to your bed like a prisoner?

PaigeS: Sorry, 217. I just counted

Me: You were way off

PaigeS: Well that answers your other question

Me: Which way does the toilet flush in Canada?

PaigeS: Toilets?

Me: Nevermind

PaigeS: Sounds expensive

Me: What season of Friends are you on in Canada?

PaigeS: We call it Acquaintances and Rachel just got a great haircut. I wonder if her and Ross will get together

Me: I have to go to bed, what is the one thing you want my readers to know about Canada?

PaigeS: Think about engaging in more of a cultural exchange with canada, because we have a lot to offer but are also missing important things....like music after 1990

Thank You PaigeS. Enjoy The Olympics!